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It didn’t take me too long in my
poker career to realize that it was
something I loved and could make a
living doing. Now, explaining that
to my mother and family was another
story. You see, my mother had always
envisioned me to be an actor,
lawyer, or some other “respectable”
professional: Never in her wildest
dreams did she think her youngest
son would be a “gambling bum.”
Of course, I tried to explain to her
that I wasn’t a gambler until I was
blue in the face. She didn’t play
poker, so it was difficult for her
to understand the difference. All
she really knew was that I could
lose everything. Of course,
everything was a grand total of
$1,300 at the time, which I’d earned
playing poker!
I mean, I tried everything. I even
showed her my extensive record book
with all my poker statistics. Let me
tell you, this was no ordinary
record book. I had things broken
down to days, locations, hourly
rate, game, daily notes and grades,
and so on. I could tell you my
hourly rate at a specific location,
on Mondays, after 6 p.m., in
sessions of more than six hours! Not
only that, I could tell you how I
played, and my overall mood that
day! I know, that’s pretty anal.
The whole point of it was to show my
mother that I was taking this
seriously. I wasn’t going to be a
bum, I was going to treat poker as a
science. All of this went in one ear
and out the other, as expected. “I
don’t care, you go to school!” That
was a more than reasonable response,
really.
Eventually, she “tolerated” the idea
of my playing poker for a living,
but it still wasn’t her first choice
for me. Whenever I’d go broke as a
teenager, it destroyed her. She
would urge me to stop and have a
normal life, but I was pretty
determined to get it right.
Yet, I hated having my mother go
through the same emotional swings I
had to endure; she simply couldn’t
handle it. Every night when I got
home, her first question was, ”How
did you do?” For a while, I told her
the truth. If I lost $1,000, I’d
tell her, or if I’d won $1,500, I’d
also tell her.
This just didn’t work, though. When
I won, everything was great — she
was really happy and in a great
mood. When I lost, not only did I
have to deal with losing, I had to
deal with my mother automatically
becoming depressed, which in turn
made me depressed.
So, I thought of a solution to the
problem. No longer would my mother
have to ride the roller coaster of a
professional poker player. From then
on, I won every day! Well, almost
every day. When she’d ask me that
same old question, I had a new
number prepared for her. If I won
$1,000, I’d tell her $200. That way,
she’d still be happy, yet not
hysterically happy. If I lost
$1,000, I’d tell her I “broke even”
or won only $60 or so.
So, if I won $1,200 one day and lost
$800 the next, all she needed to
know was that I won $200 each day.
After all, the amount was the same,
but without the “scary” fluctuation.
Of course, she wouldn’t believe that
I never lost, so once in a while I’d
tell her that I had a bad, horribly
unlucky day — and lost $500.
There is no easy way to tell your
family that you are going to play
poker for a living, but there are
some things that you can do to put
poker in a better light. You can’t
go wrong with World Series of Poker
videos or anything similar. That
way, poker looks a little more like
a sport than it does a casino game
such as blackjack or craps. Anything
you can do to separate poker from
table games in their minds is a good
thing.
Depending on where you play and your
typical game composition, let them
come to see you in action. My
girlfriend didn’t even believe that
I was a good poker player until she
was caught up in the excitement of
the final table at the World Poker
Challenge in Reno! We’d been
together for four months, and that
was the first time she was actually
excited about my poker career.
Wherever you play, try to let those
close to you see the “lighter side”
of poker. Take them to a friendly
game that you play in. Beware of
those games where people are
throwing cards and yelling at the
dealers. Introduce them to some
other successful poker-playing
friends of yours. Show them that
playing poker for a living isn’t
alien — just a little
unconventional.
These days, my mother is finally
proud of my poker career, although
I’m sure the main reason is because
of the success I’ve had.
Nonetheless, she came around, as
will most people in due time. Don’t
push them. You are a poker player,
so it all makes sense to you, but
what if I tried to explain quantum
physics to you? It might take you a
while to understand, right? Give
your friends and family time to
respect what you do; don’t expect it
right away. The way poker is
becoming more readily accepted in
mainstream society these days,
hopefully this won’t be a problem in
the future. For now, though, do your
part. Show poker’s happy face, and
let’s try to weed out the negatives.
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