OFF
THEY GO again with their chips and their cards hanging
in bags from their bikes, off again to another day of,
uh, frenzied activity.
Off
they go to their midafternoon Texas Holdem poker game,
off they go, rain or shine. Max, the guy they call "Facecard,"
he brings the chips. Xavier, "Sir Bluffington," he
brings the cards.
"Sir
Bluffington"?
"I've bluffed once in my entire life," he scoffed,
without trace of a smile.
They
are 13-year-old boys, about a baker's dozen of them. And
their summertime pastime - this summertime - is
Texas
Holdem
poker.
"I'll see your two," I have heard Bluffington tell a
character who goes by the name of "Scarface."
"And
I'll raise you two."
This
is their
Texas
Holdem
poker, as
it is played by their newest heroes on ESPN, the ones
with nicknames, the ones with quirky habits - like
talking non-stop or never looking up from their cards.
Heroes whose most noble attributes are characteristics
that often get these young men in trouble with their
parents and mentors: lack of facial expression, lack of
emotion, hours of sitting in one place with a minimal
amount of movement, focusing on the same thing, over and
over again.
A
picnic table, someone's house, the pool club, they meet
in all kinds of weather, fight through all kinds of
obstacles - chores, activities, sports. Every now and
then, someone will jump from the table in triumph or
disgust, an explosive motion sure to develop the quads
and the calves - if repeated 100 times.
This
could not be what JFK had in mind when he began his
fitness program in the early 1960s. Yes, muscles are
employed when resisting any facial expression while
holding a full house, and maybe they will avoid carpal
tunnel syndrome as adults with all that dealing and
discarding they are doing now.
One
of their heroes, Chris "Jesus" Ferguson, can slice a
pickle by flicking a playing card at it.
But
again, that's probably not what President Kennedy had in
mind.
It
seems like just yesterday, they were building ramps in
the streets and flying off them on their bicycles. Seems
like only yesterday, I took the two boys to that
brand-new skateboard park, then watched as they stood,
frozen in fear, as other boys flipped and fell all over
the place, mimicking another made-for-ESPN star from
another made-for-ESPN sport, Tony Hawk.
Seems like only yesterday, they were pointing their bats
toward centerfield like Jim Thome, only yesterday they
were breaking each other down with faux Allen Iverson
moves.
Wait
a second...
It
was yesterday.
They're still doing a lot of this stuff. They've just
added
Texas
Holdem
poker into
the pot, wedged it in, really, between the summer sports
camps and the various teams they are on.
But
play they do, emboldened by the fact that, on most days,
they do not play for money.
Truth is, they don't have money.
And
when they get it, it is almost immediately converted
into the bad sugars.
Make
no mistake, though, they are watching just as intently
as they would watch Ken Griffey Jr. crash into a wall,
as intently as they would watch a Game 7.
And
they are not alone.
This
week, the Palm Beach Post noted that ratings for
ESPN's broadcast of the World Series of Poker on summer
Tuesday nights are higher than they are for many
regular-season baseball games, higher than most hockey
telecasts, as well. Sometimes as high as 1.9 in Nielsen
ratings, viewership is often twice as high for poker on
ESPN as it is for the 11 p.m. "SportsCenter."
The
attraction is understated cool. Some players come with
nicknames. Some, like last year's champion, Chris
Moneymaker, were born with them.
"I
thought that was his nickname," said Kyle "Caesar"
Sheehan, one of the 13s.
It's
not just ESPN airing these
Texas
Holdem
poker
faces. The Travel Channel's highest-rating last year was
the World Poker Tour. Comcast SportsNet has anted in.
According to the Post, celebrity poker on Bravo -
which has featured actor Ben Affleck, among others - is
the network's second-highest programming, behind "Queer
Eye for the Straight Guy."
NBC,
parent of Bravo, recently became the first of the big
three networks to air
Texas
Holdem
poker.
ESPN said this month it had reached its best poker
ratings among men 18 to 34 this month.
And
the future looks bright. Provided this is not just
another of their passing fads, like the endless street
hockey they played this spring.
"What would you be doing if you weren't playing right
now," Sir Bluffington was asked yesterday afternoon as
he and his mates waited for sodas to be delivered to
their table.
"We'd be in gangs," he said, without trace of a smile.
Make
that two times in his life.
